Okay, so you’ve been giving it your all. Well, maybe not your *all*, but a good portion of your all. And you’re not happy with the outcome since it didn’t turn out the way it was “supposed to”. So now what? Are you doomed to failure and never to succeed? No! What if you didn't fail? What if the thing turned out the way it did and that’s the way it was supposed to turn out?
One thing that you need to recognize is that every choice we make creates something. But many of us don’t get that our choice creates. We try to choose the right thing so we can get the right result. This is where you create a limitation because you cannot be aware of other possibilities that got created with your choice.
Every choice creates many possibilities, not a single result. You only think that you fail if you are too vested in a certain outcome and if you are looking for a particular result. It’s just a choice. It’s not a right or wrong choice. Don’t judge yourself, don’t vilify yourself or make yourself wrong for not achieving the expected result. It doesn’t define you as a “loser” for the rest of your life—unless you let it.
Desiring a result does not generate anything. If you just choose to create and have no fixed projection and expectation for a particular result, then magic occurs. When you are vested in the outcome you will always feel like a failure no matter what occurs. The truth is - you can gain everything when you're not vested in the outcome. This is the place where you begin to have true choice.
Many of those who are considered to be “successful” have had many things that most people would have judged as failures, dot their lives. Milton Hershey, the king of chocolate, started three separate candy ventures before he found success.
First, Milton Hershey borrowed $150 from his aunt and set up his own candy shop in the heart of Philadelphia. After five long years of hard work with little success, he had to close up shop. Milton Hershey started all over again, in Chicago and later in New York City. None of them worked out the way he'd hoped, but his setbacks never held him back.
Since he didn't see these setback as a failure, he never created a limitation. He was able to be aware of other choices, possibility and contribution. Eventually, he started the Hershey Chocolate Company, which made him an industry leader.
So you can see how Milton Hershey didn’t permit any setbacks to define him. He was willing to see the setbacks for what they were and not have any point of view about them. Milton Hershey demonstrated that a different possibility can exist when we're willing to not be vested in the outcome and when we never judge ourselves as a failure.
Just because you haven't found a way of doing something yet, doesn't mean that you are a failure. When you view yourself as a failure, you perpetuate a vicious circle of negativity that can affect your future actions.